A Thankful Heart
19 Speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord;
20 Giving thanks always for all things unto God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ;
Ephesians 5:19-20 (KJV)
From your heart, the place where all decisions, loyalty, and cherished things reside. As the Apostle Paul writes in many of his letters, we must hold thankfulness in our hearts. Most of our actions spur from what we hold in our hearts, that’s why in this part of the study I will be focusing on what God desires to see in our hearts about thankfulness. Actions of thankfulness can only be so sincere, worth only so much, if they are portrayed but have no gratitude held inside the heart. Many people say “Thanks” and “Thank you” or even “Much appreciated!” in a mindless tone, out of habit with no true emotion or gratitude toward who we are saying it to. Sometimes we even say thank you in a sarcastic or negative way, as if to say it and let the other person know we mean the opposite. How often do we find ourselves using these things as a default? Where does this come from? Is it so hard to truly see and acknowledge someone’s existence and thank them when they hold a door open for you, rather than just walking through the door, never paying them a second thought? There are many other scenarios, but you get the point. Why does it seem that an insincere thankfulness, or even none at all, has become our default?
I have struggled a lot with this in my life. Raised by a single father, manners have never been a strong suite on my life. Saying things like “Please” and “Thank you” have never been part of my vocabulary. Even at the time that I got married, I found myself at a place where saying thank you had not been a default in my life. When I dig deep down, I can see where these expressions (or lack thereof) come from, the reluctancy to show gratitude or to ask for things kindly. There are many different factors in life that cause us to express things without genuine gratitude or kindness. My wife always has to remind me to use manners when I speak, even if it never seems to stick. But I know now that there is an important need for us to have gratitude in our lives beyond just a simple “thank you,” and I want to understand why we can seem so unappreciative when gratitude is so important.
One of the largest signs I have found in a reluctancy of thankfulness is selfishness or pride. Not in the sense of “this is mine and nobody can have it” but in the sense of what is important to us, what we are grateful for, is ourselves. People can take so much pride in themselves, everything we say and do we seem to want to give ourselves all the credit. We achieve a goal; we want to think we’re the best. We think of an amazing idea; we want to think we’re smart. Even if something happens by chance, like, let’s say, winning the lottery. So random, usually just a random strike of dumb luck, and we suddenly think we’re awesome and it’s all about us. It can be so hard to express gratitude when we’re so focused on building ourselves up.
17 "then you say in your heart, 'My power and the might of my hand have gained me this wealth.'"
Deuteronomy 8:17 (NKJV)
In today’s age, we are being told to love ourselves, forget anybody who says anything negative about us, that we’re number one in our lives. The world runs poison through the minds of the youth by teaching them that selfishness is the way to success, that we must make sure we’re happy with our lives in the way we see fit, even when the mind of a juvenile is unfocused and does not grasp the importance of most things in life. From this thought process spurs greed and unhealthy desires because they want it and it feels good, it must be right because they’ve elected it to be so. These selfish desires cause people, especially those with young minds, to engage in inappropriate activity, theft, disrespect for other people and their belongings, and most importantly, a lack of appreciation for God and all He has created. With this mindset, instead of appreciating advice given by elders with life experience, we are more likely to reject them, to rebel, and somehow be thankful to ourselves that we think we know what’s best for us. Do you see how dangerous this can be?
20 And He said, “What comes out of a man, that defiles a man.
21 For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed evil thoughts, adulteries, fornications, murders,
22 thefts, covetousness, wickedness, deceit, lewdness, an evil eye, blasphemy, pride, foolishness.
23 All these evil things come from within and defile a man.”
Mark 7:20-23 (NKJV)
There is nothing wrong with having a healthy amount of self-respect and to take pride-and-joy in our work, our achievements, our children and even our things, so long as it does not impede on what we should be most grateful for; that God has given us all that we have, and we would not have it without Him. Selfishness destroys all these values. Instead, we are only thankful if we get what we want exactly how we want it, otherwise it’s tossed aside as we search for other things to make us happy. Why do you think so many people get divorced? It’s not always because one or the other was a bad person, but because they stopped appreciating the other person, they stopped being grateful. They saw or desired something else. They couldn’t get what they desired from their current situation and decided to leave, rather than be thankful and work for their love and each other. Our pride can so often get in the way of what really matters in this life.
Pride /prīd/ noun
1.A feeling of deep pleasure or satisfaction derived from one's own achievements, qualities, or possessions.Pride is the root of all ungratefulness. Selfishness is derived from pride because when a person is prideful of themselves, their self will be all they care about. What does this have to do with the heart? Pride is rooted in the heart and our heart controls our thoughts, actions, and feelings. How can we have genuine appreciation for someone else doing something for us if all we care about is ourselves? You see the problem here? So, what can we do about it? We need to take a deep look inside a do a little remodeling.
23 Thus says the Lord: “Let not the wise man glory in his wisdom, Let not the mighty man glory in his might, Nor let the rich man glory in his riches;
24 But let him who glories glory in this, That he understands and knows Me, That I am the Lord, exercising lovingkindness, judgment, and righteousness in the earth. For in these I delight,” says the Lord.
Jeremiah 9:23-24 (NKJV)
This passage speaks of the wise, the strong, and the rich. All these things are great causes of pride in our lives. To achieve genuine gratitude in our lives for more than just ourselves, to have a thankful heart, we must deal with our pride and selfishness. There is so much more to give credit to in our lives for what we have, what we do, and even who we are than we often realize. Our parents for sure, they spend the entirety of our youth raising us to be who we are. There are people in our lives who aide us in our projects, give us a boost in something financial, guide us to a great study platform or teach us something. There are situations that we get into that help us grow as people, opportunities that build up our profession or personal lives, and even random strikes of luck that offer great opportunity. To be honest, most of our lives we do not have ourselves to thank for it. We often forget, or even choose not to acknowledge, how many of these things God has had a hand in.
18 do not boast against the branches. But if you do boast, remember that you do not support the root, but the root supports you.
Romans 11:18 (NKJV)
Humility is an incredibly important virtue in life. To know that everything is life does not revolve around us. To be grateful toward others, admit when we make mistakes, and give credit where credit is due. Take a deep look inside, should you be grateful to someone other than yourself for something in your life? Should you be grateful for something you have for a reason other than the fact that it’s yours or it’s really nice? To let go of pride and selfishness, we need to start being thankful and express gratitude, and to have thankfulness, we need to begin letting go of our pride. It’s a two-sided coin and only one side can be up at a time. No matter how hard you try, you can never have both sides facing up. You will either have traits of gratitude and humility or selfishness and pride. This is a personal journey that requires discipline and spending time in prayer and in God’s Word for us to discover how to have humility and let go of our pride. There are many study tools out there and people in our lives that can help us if we are willing to use them.
10 The name of the Lord is a strong tower;
The righteous run to it and are safe.
11 The rich man’s wealth is his strong city,
And like a high wall in his own esteem.
12 Before destruction the heart of a man is haughty,
And before honor is humility.
Proverbs 18:10-12 (NKJV)
Myself personally, I have dealt a lot with pride in my life. Pride is a strong chain in my family that has a hold on all of us and I still struggle with it to this day. The way I dealt with my pride the most is because God put people and situations in my life that constantly humbled me. Anytime I would be prideful there was always a turn that would take that away from me. Others I know have to deal with it in other ways, like spending a lot of their time buried in the Bible and in prayer, or even going to therapy to try and deal with these in a logical way. To have and express a grateful heart, we must first learn to lay ourselves down and look inside, to choose to be thankful and express our gratitude to God and to others.
21 Oh, that men would give thanks to the Lord for His goodness, And for His wonderful works to the children of men!
Psalm 107:21 (NKJV)
In the first two short chapters, I laid out a few of the ways that thanksgiving is expressed throughout the Bible. These are also a great template for us to use to begin expressing and growing our own thankfulness. A great way to start, and this is common among many Christians, is to express our gratitude in prayer. This is a part of the prayer model Jesus laid out for us that we often forget but is one of the most important. We need to give thanks to God in our prayers. Thank the Lord for what He has done, what He will do, and how He has blessed you. Thank Him for who He is, thank Him for beautiful weather, thank Him for the struggles you endure knowing it will make you stronger and wiser. Expressing gratitude toward God is an important part of our walk with Christ and should not be ignored. Without gratefulness, our faith has little meaning to us, and in return, neither does God. How will you begin to show your gratefulness today? Remember, throughout the Bible, God’s people often reminded their own hearts to be thankful for the very reason of being thankful. To recount their blessings and to remember all that God has done, rather than leaving it in the past. We should look forward to the future, but we should also remind ourselves to be humble and thankful for the past, lest we become ungrateful, and pride creates problems in our lives.
15 And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful.
16 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom, teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord.
17 And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.
Colossians 3:15-17 (NKJV)
“Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly,” in our hearts. To let God purposefully and intentionally be the importance in our hearts, and in return, to teach it to others. God is most pleased with thankfulness. This is one of the main points that Paul teaches in many of his letters to the churches. In all that we do, in all that we have, in all that we are, give thanks to God. Our hearts can become forgetful and ungrateful so quickly if we do not remind ourselves to be grateful. The heart has the ability to control all that we do if we do not think or guide ourselves, and let God guide us, to have a thankful heart. A thankful heart does not have room for selfish pride alongside it, and it will always be one or the other. As I continue my study and give thanks to God for His goodness, I learn this more and more. God desires thankfulness from us, and thankfulness cannot be accompanied by selfishness. There is a reason why Jesus told us in Luke 9:23 to lay down ourselves, pick up our cross and follow him.
1 I will give thanks to the Lord with my whole heart; I will recount all of your wonderful deeds.
2 I will be glad and exult in you; I will sing praise to your name, O Most High.
Psalm 9:1-2 (ESV)
There is so much to be thankful for. Take some time out of your day and recount the things that you have to be thankful for. Write them down if you have to and recount these things again tomorrow. Let the desire for thankfulness seep into your heart day by day. We all can realize how much we have to be thankful for, and when we can thank God for so much in our lives, we can also learn to trust him more for His goodness and faithfulness toward us.
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